I started working out this week! WooHoo! I want to lose 50 pounds and I will do it! I'm also going to start my own version of The South Beach Diet. Google it because I don't feel like linking. Reason: I'm on my "netbook" While it is cute and charming, it is tres difficile sometimes to use. The Internet pages navigate backwards unexpectedly and my fingers are often on the wrong keys. Those are simple adjustments that I, the user, can fix.
My son's father moved back to town Sunday. He has been out of state for 6 years working. He didn't see my OUR son until yesterday, Thursday, and that was only by fluke. I really don't understand this. I would love to be able to spend every waking moment with my son. I don't understand why his father wouldn't feel the same way. Oh well! God will take care of us! I know this may sound terrible, but I sometimes wish that Boogie's paternal grandmother wasn't so good to him. That way there would be no strings and he and I could be on our merry way--Selfish I know, but it would make my life easier....
Which brings me to the reason for blogging. I know I banned myself from ranting and raving from my every day, but C'mon! This is the only place for me to legally do this without getting looked down upon etc. So here goes:
I'M LONELY!! I know that God loves me and He and Jesus are all I'm supposed to need, but I AM VENTING ABOUT LONELINESS IN A BLOG for crying out loud! Disclaimer: I understand that I am going through a "night season" right now and that God wants me to rely totally on Him. God I DO! But could you please reach down with your giant arms and give me a hug! This is the loneliness that I need to conquer. I have never been a "needy" woman. You know what I'm talking about, don't act like you don't! haha And I know this is only a short season, God already said so, but there is only so much social interaction I can get from a 2-year-old. Especially one who went to bed at 730!
I'm pretty sure that this is all spawned by Micah's dad and realizing that he and I are on 2 different wavelengths which I am perfectly fine with and Mom-101's blog post about Facebook and reuniting with her high school best friend. I MISS MY HIGH SCHOOL BEST FRIEND. He was the best. We kept each other entertained. We could sit and watch movies and just be dumb for hours. We told each other we would marry one another if we had no companion by a certain age. Quite frankly, I do miss him! I miss a lot of my friends from the simpler times. Not that I want to go back to that, but it would be nice to have COMPANIONSHIP. I can't tell you that last time I went out on a Friday evening just to be out with friends. I don't go to bars or clubs, but I like to bowl and go to the movies.
My friend said today that when God changes a season, He shifts everything around. My world has been totally flipped. To God: I love you with all of my heart. You are my everything! However, you know that sometimes I grow weary in this walk with you, so please could you take away my weariness and fill the void with you. Forgive me for seeming selfish, but I thank you that I can be honest with you, even if it is in a blog. I know that this is only temporary, and I can look back and laugh. I love you Lord! AMEN!
PS I'm sure this blog post has nothing to do with my (almost) quarter life crisis and the fact that I enter the real world in T-3 months....
PPS: Shout out to Note Bene! I love your comments!
1 year ago